Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
