ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
