i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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