i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
