We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
