Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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