hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
