"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think my fart just growled at me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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