Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
