So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
