I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
