oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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