Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
