i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You don't make any sense
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