OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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