I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
