i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh god it's open bar.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
