my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
