dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I look better un-naked...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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