i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize