I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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