The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
