Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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