I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
