does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
