Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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