i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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