Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
