Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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