Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
