Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
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