i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
