do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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