My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
