i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My vagina is very pro this idea
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
