so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
