with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
