I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
