Sponge bath it is.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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