i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
