dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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