Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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