im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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