Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
