I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He shit in the fireplace
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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