did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
