just come out here and I will go home with you...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
