I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just found puke in my bra..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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