omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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