loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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