Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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