so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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