a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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