Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
