why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
