woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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