You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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