no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
