love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
