I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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