It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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