"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize