I seem to have left my pride at pride
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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