i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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